(Plastic put down, muffled footsteps)
Baby: "There was a mummy and a daddy".
Mum: "Bill...I'm Pregnant"
Baby: "Said mummy"
Daddy: "Bloodyhell"
Baby: "Said Daddy"
(Thud)
"Daddy didnt say anything else, he went to sleep"
Baby: "Everyone seemed excited , Auntie Maude, Uncle Dave, Grandma Maude, Grandpa Dave (Voiceovers congratulating)....and even Snoop Dogg!" (Dog Bark)
Baby: "But mummys belly wasnt happy" (sick noises)
Baby: "It must be all that Jelly she is eating" (Jelly noises)
Baby: "..or all the exercise...which isnt very comfortable (jiggling noises)-(30 secs)
Baby: "That soon slowed down and mummy was getting big!, she spent alot of time watching TV, and I learnt lots about the world"(news sequence)
Baby: "But i'm middle class apparently so im okay"
Mum: "I think Henry"
Dad: "No"
Mum: "George?"
Dad: "No"
Mum: "William"
Dad: "No"
Baby: "I did say middle class didnt I?"
Dad: "How about...Dave?"
Baby: "Oh no"
Mum: "Dave it is."
Baby: "Grrrr" (Kicks)
Mum: "Bill he's kicking"
(Kicking Noises)
Dad: "I think he likes Dave."
Baby: "No!"
(Kicking louder)
Mum: "Bill, I feel a bit strange"
(waters breaking)
Dad: "Bloody Hell"
(Thud...ambulance siren)
(Screams continuous)
Baby: "Dave?, Dave!....Not Dave..Mum (kicks) are you listening? (screams) you'd better stop this now! listen? Not Dave!"
Mum: "Make it stop!"
Baby: "No" (kicks)
Mum: "Argh! (screams)
Ambulance Driver: "Just take it easy Mrs Scott, what you gonna call him?"
Mum: "Dave, he's going to be called Dave"
Ambulance Driver: "Thats funny you know, I'm a Dave too"
Baby: "You would be"
(Bed movement, Hospital noises)
Dad: "Deep breathes Amy"
Mum: "Shut up Bill"
Baby: "Yeah Bill..hang on, whats happening
Ambulance: "Here he is coming...one last push"
Baby: "I'm not read-d-d-d-d" (Drum Roll)
(Squish/pop) (static/fade out) (Silence)
Dad: "Hello Dave"
(Baby Crying)
Baby:
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