Introduction...Sperm Race.

For the introduction for our film we wanted to include a commentary for the conception of the baby. This Intro will involve swishing sounds (sperm racing) which are interpreted to sound like horse hooves.

(IN STYLE OF RADIO)
We start off today with a new one from William Scott and Amy Scott and it’s called “Makin’ love…”(BED NOISES)

Hello and welcome to wetter than usual day here, for the William Bill sperm stakes coming out of A-Scott, THEY’VE JUMPED THE START…. AND THEY’RE OFF!!!...

(SOUND OF SPERM SWISHING IN RHYTHM WITH THE SOUND OF HORSE HOOVES IN A RACE, MOMENTUM CHANGING WITH COMMENTARY, with fallers less swishing)

Messy start there for some, but it appears 20 million male sperm, 10 million female sperm and a hermaphrodite got away with a clean break, coming up to the cervix now and male sperm 36985 seems to have taken an early lead, closely followed by female sperm 11, AND WE’VE LOST HERMAPHRODITE!, A FALLER AT THE CERVIX, it seemed he/she didn’t know which way it was going!

Lots of fallers there infact and we appear to be left with around 700,000 in the race. Male sperm 36985 still pulls away upfront heading towards the uterus a giant swish there to go clear of female 11 WHO FALLS!!! And she’s taken more than 90% of the field with her, male 118 avoids that wreckage like the experienced semen he is to take second place and close in on the lead.

A test of skill now as we come to the fallopian tube, and Male sperm 118 squeezes out 36985 allowing female 11 leg room to take the lead… NOW THERE APPEARS TO BE 3 LEFT IN THE RACE! A female sperm, male sperm, and tracking them both, A POTENTIAL TWIN SPERM!

Twin sperm takes the lead, followed by female, male and the rest didn’t make it, twin sperm and female sperm are level head-to-head BUT MALE SPERM NOW! MALE SPER< COM ES THROUGH THE MIDDLE TO TAKE UP THE LEAD, FEMALE SPERM FOLLOWS, AND TWIN SPERM IS TAILED OFF… THEY BOTH KNOW THE END IS IN SIGHT AND HIT THE OVUM!! MALE SPERM, FEMALE SPERM This race will be won and lost on the wriggle now…..

(DING/PING and CHEER).

This commentary is full of puns and will be the main humorous part of our project. We look to record this narration with the sounds and for it to last about 1'10seconds.